wow

for the first time in months, I've never felt so low.

I've had all this spare time during these holidays, to do nothing but waste time and to think about it now. I live quite a sad existence,it feels as though I'm not going anywhere in "life"

I'm 18, I don't have a fucking job and do the same thing every single fucking day.
sleep,eat,play guitar,go on the internet and stay on till the early morning.

I wish that I was still in year 10. This was the time that I was truly carefree. Without worry of what to do when I finish school as the end of school was still two years away. Class was actually fun to be in cause we didn't have exams and sacs to care for and the teachers knew that too.
Teachers don't give a fuck till you hit VCE. This is when they hound you to do copious amouts of work in such small time. We're made out to be like adults when we're all only 16,17 or on the brink of leaving 17,18.

Some of my teachers we're cool enough to tell us that we're only kids and that the work load is silly. Sorry to say but the Principal has no idea as to what she/he was doing and from my knowledge a HUGE number of my teachers would just laugh when we talked about her/him.

What else has been on my mind?

The past is an odd thing. For me it has either, motivated me to improve myself in a certain area,show me how much things have changed and finally make me feel like I've hit rockbottom. Which is where I am right now.

I'm faced with growing up and letting go of certain things.

No more hormones and alcopops
No more laughing at the most immature things
No more or not many more memories to be made with my highschool friends

Fuck becoming an adult.

The past makes you also think about where others you once knew and were close with are at the moment.

I miss the old days,I really do.